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w3fxdvwcr ([info]w3fxdvwcr) wrote,
@ 2010-01-07 08:35:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
A fine sermon, the mother says Was he right?...
A fine sermon, the mother says
Was he right? Edward asks
Certainly, Cyrus says, only you got to take it with a grain of cautionLife's a hard thing and nobody gives you nothingEvery man's hand is against you, that's what you also find out
Then he was wrong, FatherHe's right and I'm right, and it's just in religion you act one way, and in business, which is a lesser thing, well, you go about things in another wayIt's still Christian
The mother caresses his shoulderIt was a wonderful sermon, Edward
Nearly everybody in this town hates me, Cyrus saysThey hate you too, Edward, you might as well learn it early, ain't nothing they hate like a success, and you're sure gonna be one, if they don't like you they can still lick your boots

The mother and the son pack up the paints and easel, start back in the chilly spring afternoon from their jaunt outside the town, sketching the meager hills on the plain
Have a good time, Eddie dear? Her voice has a new trill in it now, a new warmth when they they are alone
When I was a little girl, I always used to dream I'd have a little boy and I'd go out with him and paint, just like thisCome on, I'll teach you a funny song while we go back
What is Boston like? he asks
Oh, it's a big city, it's dirty, coooold, everybody's always dressed up
Like Pa?
She laughs doubtfullyNow, don't you fake gucci fabric say anything to him about what we did this afternoon
Was it wrong?
No, now you just march right on home with me, and don't say a word to him, it's a secret
He hates her suddenly, and is quiet, moody, as they walk back to the townThat night he tells his father, listens with a kind of delicious glee and fright to the quarrel that follows
I'm going to tell you that that boy is all your fault, you indulge him, you bring out the worst in him, you never could get over leaving Boston, now, could you, we're really not fine enough out here for you
I'll be damned, I'm going to send him to military school, he's old enough to shift for himself, at nine years old a boy has to start thinking how to act like a manMilitary school's all right, that boy likes to listen to things about the war
What is partially behind it all is the conversation Cyrus has had with the town doctorThe fabulous beard, the hard shrewd eyes have twinkled at him, got a little of their own backCummings, there ain't a damn thing can be done now, it's over my head, if he were a little older I'd say take the boy over to Sally's and let him git some jism in his system

The basic good-bye at the age of ten, the railroad train, the farewell to the muddy roads at the periphery of town, the gaunt family houses, the smell of his father's bank, and the laundry on the miu miu bags in white lines
Good-bye, Son, and do all right for yourself, do you hear?
He has accepted the father's decision without any feeling, but now he shudders almost imperceptibly at the hand on his shoulderShe is weeping, and he feels a mild contempt, an almost lost compassion
Good-bye, and he goes, plummets into the monastery and becomes lost in the routine of the school, in polishing his buttons and making his bed
There are changes in himHe has never been friendly with other boys, but now he is cold rather than shyThe water colors, the books like Little Lord Fauntleroy and Ivanhoe and Oliver Twist are far less important; he never misses themThrough the years there he gets the best marks in his class, becomes a minor athlete, No3 man on the tennis teamLike his father, he is respected if he is not loved
And the crushes of course: he stands by his bunk at Saturday morning inspection, rigidly upright, clicking his heels as the colonel headmaster comes byThe suite of officer-teachers pass, and he waits numbly for the cadet colonel, a tall dark-haired youth
Cummings, the cadet colonel says
Your web belt has verdigris in the eyeletsAnd he watches him go, shuttling between anguish and a troubled excitement because he has been noticedA subterranean phenomenon, for he takes no part in the special activities pertinent to a boys' private school, is submariner rolex almost conspicuous by his avoidance
Nine years of it, the ascetic barracks, and the communal sleeping, the uniform-fears, the equipment-fears, the marching-tensions, and the meaningless vacationsHe sees his parents for six weeks each summer, finds them strange, feels distant toward his brotherCyrus Cummings bores him now with her nostalgia
Remember, Eddie, when we went out to the hill and painted?
Yes, Mother
He graduates as cadet colonel
At home he makes a little stir in his uniformThe people know he is going to West Point, and he is pointed out to the young girls, to whom he is polite and indifferentHe is handsome now, not too tall, but his build is respectable, and his face has an intelligent scrubbed lookWell, Son, you're ready for West Point, eh?
Yes, sir, I expect soGlad you went to military school?
Tried to do the best I could, sirWest Point pleases himHe has decided long ago that little Matthew Arnold can carry on the bank, and this strange stiff son in the uniform is best away from homeGood idea sending you there, Cyrus saysHis mind is blank, but a powerful anxiety stirs along his spineHis palms are always wet when he talks to his fatherWhy, yes, sir (knowing somehow that this is what Cyrus wants to hear)I hope to do well at the Point, sir
You will if you're a son of mine(Laughing heartily in the prada knock offs consummation-of-business-deal heartiness, he claps him on the backAnd he withdraws, the basic reaction

He meets the girl he is to marry in the summer after his second year at West PointHe has not been home in two years because there have been no vacations long enough for him to make the trip, but he has not missed the townWhen this vacation comes he goes to Boston to visit his mother's relatives
The city delights him; the manners of his relatives come as a revelation after the crude probing speech of the townHe is very polite at first, very reticent, aware that until he learns the blunders he must not make he cannot talk freelyBut there are stirringsHe walks the streets of Beacon Hill, ascending eagerly along the narrow sidewalks to the State House where he stands motionless, watching the light-play on the Charles, a half mile below himThe brass knockers, the dull black knockers intrigue him; he stares at all the narrow doors, touches his hat to the old ladies in black who smile pleasantly, a trifle doubtfully, at his cadet's uniform
This is what I like
I'm very fond of Boston, he says a few weeks later to his cousin MargaretThey have become confidantsIt's getting a little seedyFather said there are always less and less places where one may go(Her face is delicately long, pleasantly coldDespite the length of her nose it turns up at louis vuitton hangbags the


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